From 9:48am until 10:11am this morning I attempted to record every thought I had in my head.
Here is the outcome. Sorry in advance.
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9:48am: Better get a pen.
9:48am: I bet I have all of my amazing thoughts later on in the day today. That always happens. I’ll probably invent some awesome way to butter my toast without using my hands when I’m not recording my every thought and then no one will know about it because I’ll never have the opportunity to publish it on a blog like I have right now. It’s always the way.
9:50am: Really need to find a pen.
9:50am: I wish my hair was shorter. After I finish this blog I should go to the gym.
9:50am: You know what? I’m going to take myself out for brunch. I deserve it. the gym will be there tomorrow. Plus my left elbow is a tiny bit sore from how I slept on it last night and I would hate to give myself an injury. It’s not sad to have brunch by yourself. I’m a SHIFT WORKER, it’s not my fault I have time off when everyone else is at work.
9:51am: I’m so alone.
9:51am: I am NOT alone, I am a strong independent woman who can brunch whenever she damn well likes.
9:52am: Where are my pants? Also need my phone.
9:53am: Found my phone. I wish I had a set place when I would just leave my phone. I wish I was more organised in general. I should go to Howard’s Storage World and buy everything, then my life will truly be in order.
9:54am: ————————————- F A C E B O O K H O L E ——————————————-
10:00am: Fuck Facebook. I’m quitting Facebook.
10:01am: ————————————- F A C E B O O K H O L E ——————————————-
10:05am: Maybe short hair isn’t for me. I do like to throw my hair up into a topknot a lot, and I don’t know if I could do that with crazy short hair. I just really wished I looked like Emma Stone. She’s such a babe.
10:06am: Where the fuck are my pants?
10:06am: I should buy a Nutribullet and live off green smoothies.
10:07am: Must call my Dad/ Grandma/ struggling friend this week.
10:07am: I really thought my thoughts would be more profound than this. I wonder if anyone will notice if I amend the blog later on today when I start having all of my regular super enlightened thoughts later on this arvo?
10:08am: I am only going to order fruit and a green smoothie at my loner brunch. Maybe bacon too though.
10:09: I really have no idea where any pants are in this whole house, will have to wear dress but have not shaved legs. Should do washing more. It’s very hard for me to do washing though because I’m always going out for brunch alone and I’M A SHIFT WORKER.
10:10am PANTS, there you are, where have you been hiding? Fuck, do not fit in pants. Am fat. Stuff the green smoothie, am ordering all of the food at brunch. All of it. They will already be judging me eating alone so I may as well give them something else to judge me on.
10:10am: Nobody is judging you, everyone is too concerned with themselves to be judging anyone else anyway. Plus you’re the girl who is on the brink of inventing a handless toast buttering apparatus. You’re basically Zuckerberg.
10:11am: Never found a pen. Hope I remember all of my thoughts. On reflection, I’m sad that my thoughts are so tedious. Will cruise Book Depository later on this afternoon for self-help books to assist me in leading a more meaningful life.
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